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Justin Bieber Emo Haircut Conspiracy

What is “The Scene”? “The Scene” is also known as EMO. The Emo trend is some sort of Punk suicide cult generation Z is into. These kids like hanging around graveyards writing dark poetry and attempting suicide because their world is so fucked. They always fail though, because instead of using a sure fire way to commit suicide like a gun they usually swallow lame ass psychiatric pills.

What does this have to do with Bieber? Well Justin Bieber, or if you know him personally like I do, you call him BIEBS. He likes being called BIEBS instead of Justin. He doesn’t want to live in Justin Timberlake’s shadow you know? So call him BIEBS. Anyhoo, the BIEBS had to cut his EMO hair? Guess why? To stop EMO girls from committing suicide. BIEBS is heavily into “The Scene” and is very in touch with his emotions. If he didn’t cut his EMO hair before dating Selena Gomez there could of been mass suicide and pandemonium.

justin bieber emo haircut conspiracy 01

I told BIEBS, BIEBS! I said, “Don’t be a pussy. Keep the Emo hair and let the chips fall where they may!”. But BIEBS, being the kind hearted last generation kid he was, refused to kill his fans so he lopped off his locks. This fan suicide shit happened before, when Paul Mccartney was killed in 1966 and British Intelligence had to put a doppelganger in the Beatles. If you doubt BIEBS is into “The Scene”, look who he is dating, Selena Gomez, lead singer of “The Scene”.

Sorry about being rough with you last post BIEBS, but you gotta toughen up and cause pandemonium. Get with project mayhem BIEBS. Get Selena pregnant and solidify the North American Union with her Mexican parents. I know you love playing booty call BIEBS and you are happy you finally got a steady piece of tail, but Selena took off her purity ring which means she’s no longer a virgin. So you did the deed with her. You have a billion dollars Biebs but you don’t want any kids. Madonna’s tarot says you should have your first kid at 19 Biebs. First girlfriend at 15, married at 18 and pregnant at 19. You don’t remember thing about what this post used to say Biebs. It was just a rumor.